I am so tired of all the nonsense out there about lions and puppets!

As both a lion AND a puppet, I feel it is my place to question the hypocrisy so rampant in our society. When will the madness end?

Last week I got a frantic midnight call from Matootoo, one of the enslaved white tigers forced to perform all manner of public indecencies in that depraved pit of glitter and avarice called Las Vegas. Matootoo had forgotten one of the primal laws and needed my help to recall it (sorry, due to the predominance of human non-puppets* using the web at this time, I'm not free to discuss the primal lion laws in a public forum; if you are a lion that needs help, however, please email me!).

Not only are there gross miscarriages of justice such as this enslavement of a naturally free creature to consider; there is also the horrifying miscomprehension of all that is essentially leonine by the media and thereby the average member of society. The time for fair coverage is now! Let the lion's voice be heard on its own terms!

Then there is the perpetual misunderstanding of puppethood. Are we mere creations to you, without any inner meaning? And how would you be judged were situations reversed? The denial of puppet culture is so widespread that it has become as accepted as any other "fact." I call all puppets to the cause! Do not let yourself be cast into a false role! Soon our activities will become known, even to human society. And if you think that the full richness and variety of what it means to be a puppet can be captured by movies such as "Chuckie," think again! Most puppets to whom I've spoken agree that such mischaracterizations serve only to reinforce the prevalent belief that puppets are, in fact lifeless. It is all too easy to dismiss us when such far-fetched and ridiculously bad movies are put forth. Don't even get me started about "Pinocchio"! As if being a puppet were something any puppet would change! To borrow a phrase, We're here! We're puppets! Get used to it!




*non-puppet is used here in the physical sense only; there is no doubt in my mind that the number of non-physical puppets, those enslaved by more devious means than are easily discerned, far outstretches the number of physical puppets such as myself, whose inner essence is yet free. A discussion of these slaves, to whatever degree they have relinquished their freedom, is beyond the scope of this page at this time.